Saturday, October 04, 2008

Doubting myself...

I went to my last Team in Training run today. It's the first time I've run in a while. My back felt fine while I ran but it's a little sore now. Nothing to terribly bad.

With a week to go, I am already starting to worry about finishing. I worry I won't be fast enough. I don't worry that I can't finish the 26.2 miles, only that I can't finish it within the time allowed. This has really been bothering me because I keep thinking I've had all these setbacks and I'm not trying to whine but GI problems have really slowed me down. I really wish I'd have seen my doctor sooner about the problem but everyone kept telling me the problem would eventually go away. It didn't. If I'd have gone sooner I could have gotten the help I needed. I could have been able to train faster.

Coulda. Woulda. Shoulda.

Will I be fast enough to finish the marathon? I hope but I don't know. The only thing I am certain of is I will not be quitting. If I get swept it won't be for lack of effort. But you don't get a finishers medal unless you cross the finish line. And not crossing frightens me. So many people sponsored me through Team in Training. I hate the thought of letting anyone down. I don't want to disappoint anyone. Will that get me the speed I need? I have no idea.

I am working on my strategy. I am shortening my walk interval again. I'll make myself a splits chart so I know where I need to be at what time. I'll be preparing all next week so the GI problems won't be an issue, I know what I can eat and what to avoid at all costs. I'll be stretching even more so my back won't be an issue. I will be on top of hydration throughout the entire week and I'll make certain to get enough salt so cramping doesn't occur (I don't need another experience like I had with my 16 miler). I have clothing that doesn't chaff and shoes that are new enough to give me support and worn enough to not need to be broken in. I have gel with the electrolytes I need (and salt packets in case I need more). So the only thing I need to worry about on race day is my speed.

Please let me be fast enough to finish! Please let me finish and be excited about signing up for another marathon!

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